December's goal=a sweet Christmas
B will be out of jail on Dec 21, R will be happy in Japan with his girlfriend. We are all healthy, learning, and growning. Life is an amazing journey. Sweetness is easily accomplished.
My hubby just gave me a CD of Hatchig Kazarian's "Armenia, Armenia." We will dance to centuries old music and be comforted.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
It is all in the MIND
It is not in the body,
not in the clothes,
not in the recipies,
not in the books,
not in the TV,
nope, all in the MIND
So, again, I must readjust my thinking, and hold fast to what is true. The MIND. As my son told me while in jail, Freedom is a state of MIND. He gets this, that is a very good thing.
not in the clothes,
not in the recipies,
not in the books,
not in the TV,
nope, all in the MIND
So, again, I must readjust my thinking, and hold fast to what is true. The MIND. As my son told me while in jail, Freedom is a state of MIND. He gets this, that is a very good thing.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Christmas Is Upon Us
Well, here we all are. A year later. Christmas is upon us again.
Another new year full of new hope.
We shall see.
A failed UA for weed, back in jail for 30 days.
Maybe this time.
Maybe this time.
It's only weed, right???
Another new year full of new hope.
We shall see.
A failed UA for weed, back in jail for 30 days.
Maybe this time.
Maybe this time.
It's only weed, right???
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Progression not perfection. . .
I was moved by the comment all the way from Japan today. It is from one of the "mothers" in Japan that knows my son Ryan. Yes, the mother is the heart of the home. Thank you for your comment.
We have had a little set back, but I am confident that things are better and will continue to be better. My son is working so hard towards his sobriety and educating himself on the subject. His dream is to visit his brother in Japan one day, I hope this dream comes true for him.
This affects so many families it is unbelieveable. We are all connected.
We have had a little set back, but I am confident that things are better and will continue to be better. My son is working so hard towards his sobriety and educating himself on the subject. His dream is to visit his brother in Japan one day, I hope this dream comes true for him.
This affects so many families it is unbelieveable. We are all connected.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Chandler Valley Hope gives us HOPE
"It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure."
Joseph Campbell
My son just finished CVH. Good program. We are full of hope and focused on now and the future. A commom toast in Armenian is -genatz-which means "it is in the past." Sort of like, get over it and move on. The Armenians certainly know how to do that. Hopefully this is in my son's blood and he will navigate himself to a better life.
Books he suggests. . The Tao of Sobriety, The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure, The I Ching, Good Brain Made Great, Tao Te Ching.
Joseph Campbell
My son just finished CVH. Good program. We are full of hope and focused on now and the future. A commom toast in Armenian is -genatz-which means "it is in the past." Sort of like, get over it and move on. The Armenians certainly know how to do that. Hopefully this is in my son's blood and he will navigate himself to a better life.
Books he suggests. . The Tao of Sobriety, The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure, The I Ching, Good Brain Made Great, Tao Te Ching.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Mid October, All is What it IS!
Too much has happened to write about. I am thinking of submitting my short story, Making Blankets, to a Reader's Digest competition. A friend of mine told me about it, so I think I will.
I have another idea for a short story, title being, If You Only Knew. . . Actually a male friend of mine came up with that title. I was visiting him on the front lawn of his house and as a neighbor drove by he exclaimed, "If You Only Knew." He was referring to his own situation with his son's drug addiction and how all may look ok on the outside of their house, but in reality the inside was unbearable.
So, another tale to tell. I have decided that all writers must be filled with pain to be able to write. Yet the writing itself is sometimes painful to recap all those memories, situations, etc.
I do believe in holding on to a hopeful thought though. A miracle in the midst of it all. A light in the dark. A reason for it all, or at least the belief that something good will come from it all.
I have another idea for a short story, title being, If You Only Knew. . . Actually a male friend of mine came up with that title. I was visiting him on the front lawn of his house and as a neighbor drove by he exclaimed, "If You Only Knew." He was referring to his own situation with his son's drug addiction and how all may look ok on the outside of their house, but in reality the inside was unbearable.
So, another tale to tell. I have decided that all writers must be filled with pain to be able to write. Yet the writing itself is sometimes painful to recap all those memories, situations, etc.
I do believe in holding on to a hopeful thought though. A miracle in the midst of it all. A light in the dark. A reason for it all, or at least the belief that something good will come from it all.
Monday, September 8, 2008
New Book by Dr. Prentiss
I highly recommend the book, Alcoholism and Addiction Cure by Dr. Prentiss. My son read it in two days and said it was the best gift we had ever given him. I am reading it now and it is very, very interesting. It leaves you hopeful-which is essential.
Now my son asked for the I Ching book. I guess Prentiss does an adaptation of the original I Ching-using the Chinese name Wu Wei, so we shall see. This is my son that has not read a book for probably 10 years, and now he is breezing through these. I am greatful.
Now my son asked for the I Ching book. I guess Prentiss does an adaptation of the original I Ching-using the Chinese name Wu Wei, so we shall see. This is my son that has not read a book for probably 10 years, and now he is breezing through these. I am greatful.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Just because he said so. . . . .
My son in Japan said not to quite the blogging. So here I am. Today I am going with my mother and sister to a bed and breakfast in Payson. Should be a nice little retreat.
We have had some rough times around here, I meditate on the serenity prayer a lot-it helps. I will post an update soon tho, things are slowly working out. I cannot write about all of it yet.
Thursday is another court date, all is calm, we shall see.
We have had some rough times around here, I meditate on the serenity prayer a lot-it helps. I will post an update soon tho, things are slowly working out. I cannot write about all of it yet.
Thursday is another court date, all is calm, we shall see.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Funny how this helps . . . .
TO: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE This is God.
God
God! has seen you struggling, God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way.
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE This is God.
Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.
P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know! Now, you have a nice day.
God
God! has seen you struggling, God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Men as Comforters . . .
Dear Russian Princess,....in regards to your sons comment, "men are not programmed to be comforters and it is the fault of the women's movement".Men go out and seek "comforters". This is what has been "programmed" in the male species. From a baby, to a young man, to the husband. The male species crave attention, and soothing comfort from a mom, and then his wife. What needs to be recognized here, is that, "IT IS O. K." Feelings are not a weakness. From animals to humans, we all create comfort feelings, and give comfort feelings. This is one of God's greatest gift he has bestowed on living creators.That's it,your favorite "blonde"
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Who feels that way?
I learned recently that instead of asking yourself why you feel a certain way, you should ask yourself who feels that way? This is an attempt to learn how to step out of yourself and become an observer in your own life. In doing this the emotion is removed and one can choose not to react adversly in a given situation. Very Zen like, very Tao Te Ching like. By the way, if you have not read Tao Te Ching please do so.
To think I will turn 55 years old in 11 days and I am just now learning to be an observer in my own life. Better late than never. Understand others and you are wise, understand yourself and you are enlightened.
Things are moving along rather nicely. The Olympics will now entertain all of us for the next 2 weeks. Via Con Dios.
To think I will turn 55 years old in 11 days and I am just now learning to be an observer in my own life. Better late than never. Understand others and you are wise, understand yourself and you are enlightened.
Things are moving along rather nicely. The Olympics will now entertain all of us for the next 2 weeks. Via Con Dios.
Monday, August 4, 2008
MY son, my son
My son commented on Just Another Day that men are not programmed to be comforters and it is the fault of the women's movement that we expect such ridiculous things from them. Perfect, now I understand - after all I have lived with all males the past 32 years of my life.
How funny life is! I am sitting here writing this while George (my computerized vacume disk) vacumes the living room. I feel like Mrs. Jetson.
How funny life is! I am sitting here writing this while George (my computerized vacume disk) vacumes the living room. I feel like Mrs. Jetson.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
having a tough day
I just realized how self absorbing a blog really is-oh well. Just read the comment on the last entry from my dear friend, what a time it was.
Not feeling well today. Summer cold, sore throat, etc. I never get sick, I am convinced I have made myself sick. That is all for now, the saga continues. I must keep the faith and know that something is always working itself out, whether I am involved or not! In fact, it all works better when I am not involved. Tomorrow I am going to volunteer at the Democratic Headquarters here! Yes!
Not feeling well today. Summer cold, sore throat, etc. I never get sick, I am convinced I have made myself sick. That is all for now, the saga continues. I must keep the faith and know that something is always working itself out, whether I am involved or not! In fact, it all works better when I am not involved. Tomorrow I am going to volunteer at the Democratic Headquarters here! Yes!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
It's Just Another Day, It's Just Another Day. . . . .
Moving along. I ordered a meal off the senior citizen breakfast at Ihop the other day. I am not even 55 yet, only 54 (I will be 55 in exactly one month). How come they didn't ask me for proof of 55, is it all the stress that makes me look one month older than I am? It must be.
I really am ok, it is just my husband's take on the whole thing. He is not a comforter-never has been, never will be. He likes to be comforted, just can't comfort. So I get comfort from my dog and cat. I love Obama.
Disjointed thoughts, sign of high intelligence. I am here.
I really am ok, it is just my husband's take on the whole thing. He is not a comforter-never has been, never will be. He likes to be comforted, just can't comfort. So I get comfort from my dog and cat. I love Obama.
Disjointed thoughts, sign of high intelligence. I am here.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I Am Taking Dad to Breakfast Because All of His Friends Are Dead
Dad called the other day and said he would like me to take him out for breakfast on Saturday because all of his friends were dead. I replied, “Come on Dad, no they are not. What about Jack, he lives right in your complex and you just had breakfast with him last week.” Well, that was it, Jack died and I didn’t even know it. Jack was about 15 years older than Dad-who is 80 years old.
“Dad, what about Al?” “He is dead too, died after losing that last $1,100 at the casino a month ago, so I never had to pay him back the $1,000 I owed him.” Dad has been a gambler his whole life. He was a business man, owned his own carpet store for 50 years-Home Means More With Carpet On The Floor-Carpetland. Growing up we were always provided for, Dad could gamble with the best of them, but always knew when to stop-we never ended up in the gutter. In fact, he even sent me to college at my request and threw money at me anytime I wanted. He learned at an early age that you always paid your gambling debts or you would end up with cement on your feet at the bottom ofNiagara River . I remember Dad leaving for work one day in the Lincoln Continental, and coming home at midnight in an old beat up jeep. He lost the Lincoln in a poker game.
To this day I still have jewelry, art work, and antiques that were all won in poker games. I have never had any of it appraised as I am sure it was “Hot” and I would be arrested if anyone knew I had it. Oh well, but Dad is so much more than a business man and a gambler, he is crazy.
A few months ago Dad called me from his condo and said he was going to shoot the painters because they were pulling out his plants to paint the walls. I pleaded with him to go back inside his condo and behave himself. Luckily for us his neighbors are quite used to him and they didn’t overreact. By the time the police came he was calmly sitting in his living room watching CNN and complaining about the Jews andIsrael .
His grandchildren call him Grandpa Cigar due to the fact that up until his cancer diagnosis he always had a cigar in his mouth. Dad was stationed inJapan after the war while in the army-so he has VA benefits. Thanks to the VA hospital in Phoenix , he survived lung cancer. He only has one lung now and the doctor said he would only live 3 to 5 more years. We are on year 7! My husband says the good news is he survived; the bad news is he is still surviving.
I could go on and on, I could fill volumes with his shenanigans over the years. Instead I will just pick him up and take him to Ihop for breakfast. He will order his pancakes with strawberries, one egg over easy and one egg up side down, well done bacon and black coffee. Then he will tell me about all the juicing he has been doing and the price of bananas, blueberries, and ice cream. He will tell the waitress how lucky he is to have 3 beautiful children (now 50, 54, and 58). He will embarrass the people that sit down next to us, and start complaining about George W. Bush. Another Saturday with Dad.
“Dad, what about Al?” “He is dead too, died after losing that last $1,100 at the casino a month ago, so I never had to pay him back the $1,000 I owed him.” Dad has been a gambler his whole life. He was a business man, owned his own carpet store for 50 years-Home Means More With Carpet On The Floor-Carpetland. Growing up we were always provided for, Dad could gamble with the best of them, but always knew when to stop-we never ended up in the gutter. In fact, he even sent me to college at my request and threw money at me anytime I wanted. He learned at an early age that you always paid your gambling debts or you would end up with cement on your feet at the bottom of
To this day I still have jewelry, art work, and antiques that were all won in poker games. I have never had any of it appraised as I am sure it was “Hot” and I would be arrested if anyone knew I had it. Oh well, but Dad is so much more than a business man and a gambler, he is crazy.
A few months ago Dad called me from his condo and said he was going to shoot the painters because they were pulling out his plants to paint the walls. I pleaded with him to go back inside his condo and behave himself. Luckily for us his neighbors are quite used to him and they didn’t overreact. By the time the police came he was calmly sitting in his living room watching CNN and complaining about the Jews and
His grandchildren call him Grandpa Cigar due to the fact that up until his cancer diagnosis he always had a cigar in his mouth. Dad was stationed in
I could go on and on, I could fill volumes with his shenanigans over the years. Instead I will just pick him up and take him to Ihop for breakfast. He will order his pancakes with strawberries, one egg over easy and one egg up side down, well done bacon and black coffee. Then he will tell me about all the juicing he has been doing and the price of bananas, blueberries, and ice cream. He will tell the waitress how lucky he is to have 3 beautiful children (now 50, 54, and 58). He will embarrass the people that sit down next to us, and start complaining about George W. Bush. Another Saturday with Dad.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Next Short Story-
Should I do a sequel to Making Blankets? Let me know what you think.
Or, should I write a short story to the title, "I am Taking Dad to Breakfast Because All of His Friends Are Dead."
Or, should I write a short story to the title, "I am Taking Dad to Breakfast Because All of His Friends Are Dead."
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Living With Those Who See Things Differently
Rev. Ted Czukor
We all share the same planet. But we do not share the same reality.
We form friendships, churches and political action committees with those who see reality the same way we do. But a vast number of beings-human and animal-were raised under conditions that we have never experienced. As a result, their whole perception of life is different.
To make it more confusing, those conditions are not always physical. Our own sibling, spouse, parent or child may come to live in a mental evironment that bears no resemblance to anything in our own memory or awareness. It may be totally beyond our ability to understand how this could have happened.
We may never agree with thier attitudes, predilections or beliefs. But we must, at the very least, offer them respect as fellow travelers on this strange plane of existence.
If we cannot accept anything else about them, it is vital that we understand one thing:
Their reality is just as real to them as our reality is to us.
We form friendships, churches and political action committees with those who see reality the same way we do. But a vast number of beings-human and animal-were raised under conditions that we have never experienced. As a result, their whole perception of life is different.
To make it more confusing, those conditions are not always physical. Our own sibling, spouse, parent or child may come to live in a mental evironment that bears no resemblance to anything in our own memory or awareness. It may be totally beyond our ability to understand how this could have happened.
We may never agree with thier attitudes, predilections or beliefs. But we must, at the very least, offer them respect as fellow travelers on this strange plane of existence.
If we cannot accept anything else about them, it is vital that we understand one thing:
Their reality is just as real to them as our reality is to us.
Friday, June 27, 2008
I cannot stress the positive impact that Dr. Amen's info has had on our family.
Subject: Brain In The News: Changing Brains Means Changing Lives
From: newsletter@amenclinics.com
Subject: Brain In The News: Changing Brains Means Changing Lives
From: newsletter@amenclinics.com
'Brain in the News' is a weekly commentary on how brain science relates to the news. The brain is involved in everything we do. Wherever there are human stories the brain is involved. From the impact of war and natural disasters on the brain to drug abuse scandals to courtroom dramas to politics the brain is in the news, and you can read about it here. Changing Brains Means Changing Lives
One of the most gratifying parts of our work at the Amen Clinics is hearing the stories of changed lives. We have hundreds of personal testimonies on file, many of them can be viewed by following this link - http://amenclinic.com/ac/testimonials.php. We also recently received an e-mail from a viewer of my PBS Television special - Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. E-mails like this mean so much to all of us associated with the clinics and TV program...
'I used meth daily for 12 yrs & tobacco for 25 yrs. I saw your program, knew I didn’t want that brain and threw all my dope and cigarettes out. I thought it would be hell, but with Omega-3 supplements and the foods suggested in your program, it wasn’t that bad. This was on June 06, 2008 @ 10:18pm. You helped me turn my life around!!! Thank you!!!'
Wow! Changing brains means changing lives! I've seen it happen for over 25 years and I still get excited about it. Another thing I'm excited about is the addition of a fine physician to the Amen Clinic staff in Tacoma, Washington, Dr. Vern Cherewatenko. Dr. Cherewatenko is a nationally recognized expert in the field of stress and how it affects the brain and body.
A recent study showed a stress-activated molecule may underlie many of the symptoms of some mental illnesses. We control our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions via an important part of the brain: the prefrontal cortex. People with injuries to this part of the brain become impulsive, distractible, and have poor judgment. Major damage to the prefrontal cortex can cause thought disorders and hallucinations. These symptoms are also seen in people with bipolar disorder and with schizophrenia. All of these mental illnesses worsen with stress.
This study highlights the need for regular stress management techniques, such as meditation, relaxation, guided imagery and diaphragmatic breathing. Simple techniques can have a real and lasting positive impact on brain health.
Dr Cherewatenko and I recently recorded a CD titled 'Effective Tools for Calming Stress'. On this audio program we discuss the effects of stress on the body, mind and spirit. Stress hurts our bodies, including our brains, and managing it seems more difficult than ever. We give practical and proven tools to help calm stress and live happier, more peaceful lives ... you can find it at our online store, www.mindworkspress.com.
To your brain health,
Daniel
Daniel Amen, M.D.
CEO, Amen Clinics, Inc.
Distinguished Fellow, American Psychiatric AssociationDr. Amen's Blog - Recent Articles
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday June 22
Yesterday I watched the You Tube presentation of Jill Bolte Taylor, who wrote My Stroke of Insight. So very, very interesting. She is a neuroscientist (mentioned on my blog earlier) that had a stroke at age 38. She describes the function of the human brain and how and why we are how we are. An absolute must see for anyone trying to understand anything, very uplifting too. Only about 20 minutes long, so very worthwhile.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Response from a very dear friend. . . .
Dear J. Margaret, Read your story. I knew parts of it but not all of it.
You know me, a friend who enjoyed sharing trips to the local fabric store and
helping each other with sewing projects years ago. The only part of your story
I did not like was when you said you need to forgive yourself for the enabling
you did out of pure love for your son Tim. I believe the bond between a
mother and child is something so strong and the love so unconditional that nothing
a Mom does in effort to help need be forgiven. Your friend, N
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
One day at a time. . .
I cannot express in words how much the Alanon book, One Day at a Time has helped me stay centered and in the moment. I highly recommend it to anyone with children, a spouse, family or friends that have an addiction (any kind, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.).
We did not cause it, we cannot control it, we cannot cure it-but we do contribute to it in many ways without realizing it. Once I stopped contributing, things started getting much better. Things are soooooo much better and healthier for all involved here than they were just 1 year ago. Do not give up, there is always hope.
We did not cause it, we cannot control it, we cannot cure it-but we do contribute to it in many ways without realizing it. Once I stopped contributing, things started getting much better. Things are soooooo much better and healthier for all involved here than they were just 1 year ago. Do not give up, there is always hope.
Response from a friend of a friend. . .
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "MAKING BLANKETS by J. Margaret (names have ...":
I read your story and it is me to a T. I am going through and have been going through this for the last 5 years with my son. He has been to Jail, treatment centers, bail, etc. He is facing a possiblility of very serious prison time with an upcoming trial. The usual story, wrong place, wrong time, yada yada, yada. I am out financialy ($250K), mentally, physically and emotionally beat down, but the outside looks perfect. Who am I really fooling...... I finally am seeking help for myself, but still continue to help my son and will until the trial is over in the next year. I have limited what I do and know I am enabling him, but afraid to completely let go. I WILL though whatever the outcome for him, not enable him in the future after the trial. Until them, I turn to my freinds, therapists and family for help. I feel for you and really am taking your words to heart.
Thank you for sharing.
I read your story and it is me to a T. I am going through and have been going through this for the last 5 years with my son. He has been to Jail, treatment centers, bail, etc. He is facing a possiblility of very serious prison time with an upcoming trial. The usual story, wrong place, wrong time, yada yada, yada. I am out financialy ($250K), mentally, physically and emotionally beat down, but the outside looks perfect. Who am I really fooling...... I finally am seeking help for myself, but still continue to help my son and will until the trial is over in the next year. I have limited what I do and know I am enabling him, but afraid to completely let go. I WILL though whatever the outcome for him, not enable him in the future after the trial. Until them, I turn to my freinds, therapists and family for help. I feel for you and really am taking your words to heart.
Thank you for sharing.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Earthquake in Japan
There was a 7.2 earthquake in Japan. Just heard from my son and it was in his girlfriends hometown. None of her family was hurt tho-scary stuff. Even when you think everything is fine, there is always that space in your mind that is a bit fearful for your children's well-being. Being a person of faith really helps in that area, can't imagine life without it.
My family doctor told me some time ago that all the AA meetings in the world would not help an addict if the underlying problem is a chemical imbalance in the brain. But how many people really have perfectly balanced brains? Don't you just learn to compensate for it in different ways. The trouble is finding one's way thru all of that, the doctors, the perscriptions, the theories, etc. I think in the end you follow your gut feelings. My mother says as we grow older we just become more of ourselves. She said, "however we are is how we are going to be the rest of our lives, so you had better get used to it."
Just watched the movie, Numb. Very appropriate for this day and age. It is sort of a black comedy with a good ending.
My family doctor told me some time ago that all the AA meetings in the world would not help an addict if the underlying problem is a chemical imbalance in the brain. But how many people really have perfectly balanced brains? Don't you just learn to compensate for it in different ways. The trouble is finding one's way thru all of that, the doctors, the perscriptions, the theories, etc. I think in the end you follow your gut feelings. My mother says as we grow older we just become more of ourselves. She said, "however we are is how we are going to be the rest of our lives, so you had better get used to it."
Just watched the movie, Numb. Very appropriate for this day and age. It is sort of a black comedy with a good ending.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day Message in a Card
To a father who never gave up on me.
To a father who always saw potential even when I didn't.
To a father who told me I can do whatever I want, just give it 100%.
To a father who always loved my mother.
To you, a man, I will always look up to.
Love, your son
Our son's words inside his dad's Father's Day card. (And yes, I asked his permission before putting it on my blog.)
Life is good.
To a father who always saw potential even when I didn't.
To a father who told me I can do whatever I want, just give it 100%.
To a father who always loved my mother.
To you, a man, I will always look up to.
Love, your son
Our son's words inside his dad's Father's Day card. (And yes, I asked his permission before putting it on my blog.)
Life is good.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
New comment left on "Notice any moms . . . .
Check out the comment-very informative. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor's book, My Stroke of Insight.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
It was a very good day!
Talked to my sweet mother today-she said, "Hate the addiction, love our boy." She is absolutely right. Had a good week-making progress. Now we are all trying to get our sense of humor back. Life is so precious, I cannot waste anymore time worrying-it does no one any good. I have to stay in that greatful slice of a place in my mind.
I emailed my son in Tokyo today asking him to post some pictures of him and his brother on my blog. Let's see if he helps me.
My dear friend, who lost her son a few years ago, said to me, "I wasted so much time worrying about his future and how he was going to support himself." Wow, I think of that often.
Check out the movie, Sex and the City, you will get your sense of humor back and be interested in fashion again-take your mom with you if you can!
I emailed my son in Tokyo today asking him to post some pictures of him and his brother on my blog. Let's see if he helps me.
My dear friend, who lost her son a few years ago, said to me, "I wasted so much time worrying about his future and how he was going to support himself." Wow, I think of that often.
Check out the movie, Sex and the City, you will get your sense of humor back and be interested in fashion again-take your mom with you if you can!
Friday, June 6, 2008
We are all in this together
This is a request to any mom that may read my blog, please post your comment or reaction to the stuff you read. You may even do it anonymously, I don't care. I just know that each one of us has information that can bring hope and direction, but we will not know about it if you don't say anything.
This blog is also like Las Vegas, what you read and see here stays here! Thanks
This blog is also like Las Vegas, what you read and see here stays here! Thanks
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
The wisdom is the part I struggle with!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
response from my college roommate
Well, as the saying goes,"been there, done that". I do not mean to sound so flip about it.
But now, I am starting to see how the parent needs to "stop, and back away". You are not helping, and will never help your child by stepping in, and taking over. The help you are giving, is hurting your child.
Love your child, love your child soo much that you let them suffer their own consequence. Love your son or daughter so much, that if you have to swear out a warrant for their arrest to get them medical help, do it!
When the state trooper put hand cuffs on my son,,, I new I was going to hell and die for hurting him. The look in his eyes.......it left me hating myself, sick in my heart.
After the psych wards, the on and off medications, the year of pure hell for my son, we both still made it through.
Why doesn't anyone every write about, you have done the "right thing".
Where is the "verification, 100%, yes, absolutely you did the right thing", assurance you did the right thing for your child? It will never come.
I am one of the lucky moms. Two years after Ellis went through all the suffering, pain, and humiliation, he was taking care and became responsible for himself.
On my birthday that next year, I received mail from Ellis. He had finished his degree, and was working at Disney World as a culinary chef. The last part of his letter said, "Mom, guess where I'm working? "Magic Kingdom", anyway's, I love you, and want you to know I wouldn't be here without you and your guidance. Thanks for everything, Love You! S.Ellis xxoo
I have been blessed by God for my four beautiful and brilliant sons.
Thank you God for your guidance. Thanks for everything, Love You. sar
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
JUNE 2, 2008
Hold me in your prayers
I am a mother
Elighten me with wisdom
I am a mother
Fill me with patience
I am a mother
Bless me with faith
I am a mother
Judge me not too harshly
I am a mother
Release the guilt from me
I am a mother
Recognize my unconditional love
I am a mother
Forgive me my wrongs
I am a mother
Most of all---find your way without me
I am your mother
Hold me in your prayers
I am a mother
Elighten me with wisdom
I am a mother
Fill me with patience
I am a mother
Bless me with faith
I am a mother
Judge me not too harshly
I am a mother
Release the guilt from me
I am a mother
Recognize my unconditional love
I am a mother
Forgive me my wrongs
I am a mother
Most of all---find your way without me
I am your mother
Monday, March 31, 2008
The end of March 2008
The last day of March is here. It is ending on a good note. One day at a time, easy does it, one thing at a time, let it be. Be Here Now.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
It is Good Friday. Easter 2008 is upon us. Things have been looking up. The son with the addiction problem is doing better. Going to drug court meetings, very intensive program to help educate them on their unique problem. Also got a job with a very reputable company yesterday and they know all about his background.
Yesterday my son gave me a new name, he called me a helpaholic. Very imaginative and accurate. The way I solve problems seems so logical to me, that I want to help anyone that does not problem solve the same way I do-bad, bad, bad.
How do I get other mother's to check out my blog? This is all new to me.
Yesterday my son gave me a new name, he called me a helpaholic. Very imaginative and accurate. The way I solve problems seems so logical to me, that I want to help anyone that does not problem solve the same way I do-bad, bad, bad.
How do I get other mother's to check out my blog? This is all new to me.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
MAKING BLANKETS
by
J. Margaret
(names have been changed to protect identity)
He called me right after the test and said he passed and they were amazed by him!
In the meantime, Tim dropped out of school, got a prescription for marinol so he could pass the drug tests for marijuana and started his own record label. The system is flawed and he figured out every way possible to get around it. Tim was also completely broke now, having lost his other job and trying to start up a record label, which of course we supported because we thought it was the right thing to do for him.This could be a really long story filled with my self loathing for being the stupidest mother in
Friday, February 22, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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