I cannot express in words how much the Alanon book, One Day at a Time has helped me stay centered and in the moment. I highly recommend it to anyone with children, a spouse, family or friends that have an addiction (any kind, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.).
We did not cause it, we cannot control it, we cannot cure it-but we do contribute to it in many ways without realizing it. Once I stopped contributing, things started getting much better. Things are soooooo much better and healthier for all involved here than they were just 1 year ago. Do not give up, there is always hope.
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Dear J.
I know, I know, how painful it can get. I feel, I feel, how hope flares up every time you see a glimmer of the child they once were. I ache, I ache, for the fulfillment of the possibilities you dream. I release, I breathe, I let go and trust. It is not my destiny; it is theirs. We had our painful transitions in our 20's, we must allow them theirs.
Their souls may require these trials in order to become more perfectly who they are meant to be.
I know it's scary. I'm facing the same fears as my beautiful boy goes off to college. What decisions will he make? What mistakes will he suffer? He is a lot like Ryan. Smart as a whip, tall and lanky, thinks he knows everything. (The only music he plays though is on an I-pod.) Please God, help him choose wisely.
Then there's the last J. She'll be able to drive in six months. She's gorgeous and extremely stubborn. what will I ever do with her?
And just when you thought the kids were becoming self sufficient - the parents need our care. Mom's doing better - she's decided she needs to work on building her muscular strength back up and it's perking her spirit and intellect up as well. How's your dad?
When I feel I am being pulled apart by all the competing needs of children, parents, husband, friends, and work, I resort to what worked with the kids when they were younger; I put myself in time-out and escape into a good book. I come out of time-out with a messy house, papers to grade, and errands to run but with renewed energy and the strength to go on.
Try it! Put yourself on time-out. Let Go. Give in. Breathe and release.
Lots of love to all,
ALMcD
mom,
thanks for the nice comment on my blog. look at my new entry. i have a new article that was posted on the world's most famous japan-related blog.
i'm worried that you're getting too addicted to this blogging thing, though.
and try to avoid the personal. you don't want to divulge any family secrets.
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