We are all still standing

December 19, 2010
Another year passed. Progress is slow and steady. All is well. Finding the value in life again.

August 12, 2009

All is well. It has been 8 months since I have posted a blog. I had to let things work themselves out, and they are working themselves out indeed.

B is learning to deal with his addiction issues. He has learned so much! He is healthy and concerned about his health now, which is wonderful.

My R visited us in March, then returned to Japan to start his PhD program at Tokyo U. He seems very happy. Time is marching on, and it is ok. Obama is our new president, I am soooo glad!!

That is it for now.

December's goal

December's goal=a sweet Christmas

B will be out of jail on Dec 21, R will be happy in Japan with his girlfriend. We are all healthy, learning, and growning. Life is an amazing journey. Sweetness is easily accomplished.

My hubby just gave me a CD of Hatchig Kazarian's "Armenia, Armenia." We will dance to centuries old music and be comforted.

It is all in the MIND

It is not in the body,
not in the clothes,
not in the recipies,
not in the books,
not in the TV,
nope, all in the MIND

So, again, I must readjust my thinking, and hold fast to what is true. The MIND. As my son told me while in jail, Freedom is a state of MIND. He gets this, that is a very good thing.

Christmas Is Upon Us

Well, here we all are. A year later. Christmas is upon us again.

Another new year full of new hope.

We shall see.

A failed UA for weed, back in jail for 30 days.

Maybe this time.

Maybe this time.

It's only weed, right???

Progression not perfection. . .

I was moved by the comment all the way from Japan today. It is from one of the "mothers" in Japan that knows my son Ryan. Yes, the mother is the heart of the home. Thank you for your comment.

We have had a little set back, but I am confident that things are better and will continue to be better. My son is working so hard towards his sobriety and educating himself on the subject. His dream is to visit his brother in Japan one day, I hope this dream comes true for him.

This affects so many families it is unbelieveable. We are all connected.

Chandler Valley Hope gives us HOPE

"It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure."

Joseph Campbell

My son just finished CVH. Good program. We are full of hope and focused on now and the future. A commom toast in Armenian is -genatz-which means "it is in the past." Sort of like, get over it and move on. The Armenians certainly know how to do that. Hopefully this is in my son's blood and he will navigate himself to a better life.

Books he suggests. . The Tao of Sobriety, The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure, The I Ching, Good Brain Made Great, Tao Te Ching.

Mid October, All is What it IS!

Too much has happened to write about. I am thinking of submitting my short story, Making Blankets, to a Reader's Digest competition. A friend of mine told me about it, so I think I will.

I have another idea for a short story, title being, If You Only Knew. . . Actually a male friend of mine came up with that title. I was visiting him on the front lawn of his house and as a neighbor drove by he exclaimed, "If You Only Knew." He was referring to his own situation with his son's drug addiction and how all may look ok on the outside of their house, but in reality the inside was unbearable.

So, another tale to tell. I have decided that all writers must be filled with pain to be able to write. Yet the writing itself is sometimes painful to recap all those memories, situations, etc.

I do believe in holding on to a hopeful thought though. A miracle in the midst of it all. A light in the dark. A reason for it all, or at least the belief that something good will come from it all.

New Book by Dr. Prentiss

I highly recommend the book, Alcoholism and Addiction Cure by Dr. Prentiss. My son read it in two days and said it was the best gift we had ever given him. I am reading it now and it is very, very interesting. It leaves you hopeful-which is essential.

Now my son asked for the I Ching book. I guess Prentiss does an adaptation of the original I Ching-using the Chinese name Wu Wei, so we shall see. This is my son that has not read a book for probably 10 years, and now he is breezing through these. I am greatful.

Just because he said so. . . . .

My son in Japan said not to quite the blogging. So here I am. Today I am going with my mother and sister to a bed and breakfast in Payson. Should be a nice little retreat.

We have had some rough times around here, I meditate on the serenity prayer a lot-it helps. I will post an update soon tho, things are slowly working out. I cannot write about all of it yet.

Thursday is another court date, all is calm, we shall see.

My last entry

Don't want to do this anymore.

Funny how this helps . . . .

TO: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE This is God.

Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.

P.S. And, remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know! Now, you have a nice day.

God

God! has seen you struggling, God says it's over. A blessing is coming your way.

Men as Comforters . . .

Dear Russian Princess,....in regards to your sons comment, "men are not programmed to be comforters and it is the fault of the women's movement".Men go out and seek "comforters". This is what has been "programmed" in the male species. From a baby, to a young man, to the husband. The male species crave attention, and soothing comfort from a mom, and then his wife. What needs to be recognized here, is that, "IT IS O. K." Feelings are not a weakness. From animals to humans, we all create comfort feelings, and give comfort feelings. This is one of God's greatest gift he has bestowed on living creators.That's it,your favorite "blonde"

Who feels that way?

I learned recently that instead of asking yourself why you feel a certain way, you should ask yourself who feels that way? This is an attempt to learn how to step out of yourself and become an observer in your own life. In doing this the emotion is removed and one can choose not to react adversly in a given situation. Very Zen like, very Tao Te Ching like. By the way, if you have not read Tao Te Ching please do so.

To think I will turn 55 years old in 11 days and I am just now learning to be an observer in my own life. Better late than never. Understand others and you are wise, understand yourself and you are enlightened.

Things are moving along rather nicely. The Olympics will now entertain all of us for the next 2 weeks. Via Con Dios.

MY son, my son

My son commented on Just Another Day that men are not programmed to be comforters and it is the fault of the women's movement that we expect such ridiculous things from them. Perfect, now I understand - after all I have lived with all males the past 32 years of my life.

How funny life is! I am sitting here writing this while George (my computerized vacume disk) vacumes the living room. I feel like Mrs. Jetson.

having a tough day

I just realized how self absorbing a blog really is-oh well. Just read the comment on the last entry from my dear friend, what a time it was.

Not feeling well today. Summer cold, sore throat, etc. I never get sick, I am convinced I have made myself sick. That is all for now, the saga continues. I must keep the faith and know that something is always working itself out, whether I am involved or not! In fact, it all works better when I am not involved. Tomorrow I am going to volunteer at the Democratic Headquarters here! Yes!

It's Just Another Day, It's Just Another Day. . . . .

Moving along. I ordered a meal off the senior citizen breakfast at Ihop the other day. I am not even 55 yet, only 54 (I will be 55 in exactly one month). How come they didn't ask me for proof of 55, is it all the stress that makes me look one month older than I am? It must be.

I really am ok, it is just my husband's take on the whole thing. He is not a comforter-never has been, never will be. He likes to be comforted, just can't comfort. So I get comfort from my dog and cat. I love Obama.

Disjointed thoughts, sign of high intelligence. I am here.

I Am Taking Dad to Breakfast Because All of His Friends Are Dead

Dad called the other day and said he would like me to take him out for breakfast on Saturday because all of his friends were dead. I replied, “Come on Dad, no they are not. What about Jack, he lives right in your complex and you just had breakfast with him last week.” Well, that was it, Jack died and I didn’t even know it. Jack was about 15 years older than Dad-who is 80 years old.

“Dad, what about Al?” “He is dead too, died after losing that last $1,100 at the casino a month ago, so I never had to pay him back the $1,000 I owed him.” Dad has been a gambler his whole life. He was a business man, owned his own carpet store for 50 years-Home Means More With Carpet On The Floor-Carpetland. Growing up we were always provided for, Dad could gamble with the best of them, but always knew when to stop-we never ended up in the gutter. In fact, he even sent me to college at my request and threw money at me anytime I wanted. He learned at an early age that you always paid your gambling debts or you would end up with cement on your feet at the bottom of Niagara River. I remember Dad leaving for work one day in the Lincoln Continental, and coming home at midnight in an old beat up jeep. He lost the Lincoln in a poker game.

To this day I still have jewelry, art work, and antiques that were all won in poker games. I have never had any of it appraised as I am sure it was “Hot” and I would be arrested if anyone knew I had it. Oh well, but Dad is so much more than a business man and a gambler, he is crazy.

A few months ago Dad called me from his condo and said he was going to shoot the painters because they were pulling out his plants to paint the walls. I pleaded with him to go back inside his condo and behave himself. Luckily for us his neighbors are quite used to him and they didn’t overreact. By the time the police came he was calmly sitting in his living room watching CNN and complaining about the Jews and Israel.

His grandchildren call him Grandpa Cigar due to the fact that up until his cancer diagnosis he always had a cigar in his mouth. Dad was stationed in Japan after the war while in the army-so he has VA benefits. Thanks to the VA hospital in Phoenix, he survived lung cancer. He only has one lung now and the doctor said he would only live 3 to 5 more years. We are on year 7! My husband says the good news is he survived; the bad news is he is still surviving.

I could go on and on, I could fill volumes with his shenanigans over the years. Instead I will just pick him up and take him to Ihop for breakfast. He will order his pancakes with strawberries, one egg over easy and one egg up side down, well done bacon and black coffee. Then he will tell me about all the juicing he has been doing and the price of bananas, blueberries, and ice cream. He will tell the waitress how lucky he is to have 3 beautiful children (now 50, 54, and 58). He will embarrass the people that sit down next to us, and start complaining about George W. Bush. Another Saturday with Dad.

Next Short Story-

Should I do a sequel to Making Blankets? Let me know what you think.

Or, should I write a short story to the title, "I am Taking Dad to Breakfast Because All of His Friends Are Dead."

July 12, 2008

No Comment. Keep the faith.